I, TRUMP by George Saunders & Donald Trump

Author:George Saunders & Donald Trump [Saunders, George & Saunders, George & Trump, Donald]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-03-03T06:00:00+00:00

53

I, TRUMP

“Oh, them,” I say, waving my hand away dismissively. “What are they going to do? Take over a sitting and duly elected president? Disappoint 74 million people who love me and literally wouldn’t mind drinking my piss through a slurpy cup, cut with yak-shit? Really?”

Joe begins to laugh and my gut gurgles again. I almost stand to bitch-slap the old bastard, when suddenly, Mark Meadows knocks and enters with a 16-inch special pizza from Dominos.

My anger is immediately quelled, and I smile at Joe.

“Like pizza, Joe?”

“Love it,” Joe smiles back at me. Keep smiling, fish bait.

Mark lowers the pizza in front of me on the desk, next to a ton of Executive Orders I have to sign later today. Mark opens the box as a few Secrets come in with plates and knives and shit.

“Thanks, Mark,” I nod to Meadows. “Now get out.”

Meadows hesitates and clears his throat. “Perhaps I should stay and take notes?”

“What part of ‘get out’ was unclear, son?” I eyeball my Chief of Staff with eyes only a Tiger Shark could envy.

Meadows nods and turns on his heel, almost sprinting out of the office. I turn my attention back to the old fart sitting in front of me.

“You like wings?” I ask.

“Never turn them down,” Joe smiles – almost too damned com-fortable in my presence. I take out some wings and tear a slice of pizza off the pie and put it in front of Sleepy Joe.

“Bon Appetit,” I say.

“To your health, con,” Joe snickers.

Did he just call me ‘con’ – as in convict? Boy, he’s gonna hurt for that.

“Where’s my wife?” Joe asks, chewing on a pepperoni.

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